Power

I've been thinking a lot about the relationship of talent, life events, mental illness, and choice of vocation; namely musician vs massage therapist/palliative care specialist (I just added that for clarity). I know I'm painting with a pretty broad brush to begin with… I'm just very frustrated. Not just with one person but probably a lot of people ultimately. I completely resent those who know they are mentally ill but take no responsibility for their behavior. My recent struggles with a bipolar-in-mania felt a WHOLE lot like a drunk blaming his wife for his drinking… really? At least pretend to be getting your shit together, PUHLEEZE. (that actually made me feel better…ahhhhhh)

As for the point I was starting, I wish musicians could understand that there are other expressions of all-that-creative-stuff that are just as all-encompassing, draining, enlightening, personal, and transformative. I'm working primarily with those who cannot speak or walk or at least will never be "well". I am no Healer. I'm a Facilitator and a Coach. My job is to help brains and bodies work toward a sense of peace, ownership, clarity of proprioception, and most important, the reduction of pain. So yes, it's pain management. And I'm using everything I've got: life experience, talent, agape/love, spirituality, and my CREATIVITY. What I do effects my mental health just as much as it would if I were spending that energy making music or art.

Should I start blaming you when I'm not taking care of myself? That's pretty fucked up.