Rain Day/Hermine Drops by for a Visit

Priorities...I had some for today but since it's raining so hard outside, I thought I'd shift them around a bit. Can't think of a good reason to hop right into business-related stuff; there's nothing that can't be done in a few hours anyway. No clients today. 'Could always use the income but...there are those days when it just doesn't happen. And it does occur to me that I need to spend much more of my down time engaging myself in endeavors that have some long-lasting effect i.e. blog writing, image making and anatomy study. I already beat my Free Cell score this morning (haha!)

It would be too easy to let myself slip into a Blue Mood especially considering the weather. Today my daughter started her Senior Year at Central High School in Philadelphia...a mere 1700 miles away. At least we had an IM chat last night. At least she sent me a "wish list" for online shopping; of course I bought the whole list even though she always says not to. At least we keep some sort of connection...can't say the same for her brothers. (sigh) At least she still loves me. At least...

I do wonder if there are folks around me who negatively judge my decision to come to Texas without her. I have my stock answer: how could I take her away from all that she knows, her family, her friends, her school and make her live in Lockhart, Texas? And if I HAD waited, then she wouldn't have a college fund, or her father couldn't afford to redo the house and, as she pointed out, if I had waited until she graduated, then everyone would have left her father at once. It doesn't take a mind reader to see that my stock answer is still guilt ridden. I do miss her so very very much.

But then I also wonder if after all was said and done, if everyone didn't turn out better for the struggle. I know my daughter's relationship with her father is at it's best (I do question the amount of time she is away from home though.) She's definitely the most mature girl her age that I have ever met. Oh poo...more rationalizations and more effort to avoid crying. I miss her with every cell of my being; plain and simple.

So I really HAVE to make this push within myself to make it all "worth it". To resist the urge to sit on my ass and do nothing. To resist the urge to brood. To resist letting ANY day just slip by without some creative event; some kind of trail mark that today meant something.

So...I'm thinking that this is a good stopping point for today. I will now work on a creating an image for this entry. Today matters.

Peace to you, Cyber Universe. Peace to you, Cyber-Self