The Road Home

Happy Anniversary

It was one year ago today that I pulled up to the little house on Pecan Str

eet with a UHaul and my Dad and Aunt who drove me and my stuff here. Two days on the road from Philly; two light years away from the life I had known for 22 years. I came to this place with a heart split in two. Part of me desperately needed to be home in Texas where I could reconnect to all of those things and people that make me "me" and pa

rt of me still couldn't comprehend that I had left behind the children I love so dearly. I wear my guilt for leaving them like a yoke around my neck...always present and sometimes too much to bear.

But there will never be a blog entry reflecting any regret about my decision...ever. It was the right thing to do and while there could certainly be some debate over the timing, I can't honestly say there would have been an easier way to handle it.

The Lapse in Blog Entries

When I reviewed my Archive, I thought it was rather telling the things I didn't say in those last 2 entries in 2009. I found Facebook and shortly after, was reconnected to a man I once had a crush on in high school. Of course I didn't mention that; it would have been foolish. And no, Facebook doesn't cause divorces (at least not in my case) but it does allow for the opportunity to reach out and sometimes, find that helping hand. It doesn't take a lot of poking around through my Archive to see that I was fundamentally unhappy with my marriage. I simply found that Special Person who said what no one else was willing to say, "You're too good to be this unhappy. I have no guarantees but my home is open to you for as long as you need." I am still in his home, very happy and loved, knowing that I found the Friend of a Lifetime; a Soulmate who truly "gets" me. (Not to mention a whole new family that I truly love and adore... sadly a privilege never granted in Philadelphia. Ironic that I can feel so close to folks that I've known only a year and so distant from those I have known half of my Life.)

A Look to The Future

'Don't know why but it seems it took this anniversary to wake me up a bit. I did actually create a brand new image for this entry and I did manage a couple of paragraphs without too much trouble. And, as I had mentioned in the previous entry, my mortality has been on my mind...don't quite know the correlation there but I DO know that writing and creating images (along with prayer and meditation) are very helpful for the stress of over-thinking. I can say I left my mark....

There's obviously a lot more to this Story which is great because that means I have "material"!

It's so wonderful to be excited about this again...I've missed it more than I realized.

Have a wonderful day, Cyber-Universe. Have a great day, Cyber-Self! Much Love, D