A "Eureka" before 8am...

"Self-Sabotage". Seems self-explanatory but is it? I hate to admit that part of my wake-up routine is scouring FB; out of hundreds of videos of cute things, I found one idea to focus my attentions.

In an brief "listy" article on Chronic Stress and the long term effects on Mood, the author pointed to "self-sabotage" as a major psychological component in poor mental health. Ah yes…I can thoroughly agree. And it's such an insidious cycle. 'Pretty sure it's one that started when I was…oh about…13! (Yes, the finger is pointed right at YOU, Mister Molester)

My point is that I need to focus less on being "well" and more on how I can create NEW DAYS. The extended winter gave me too many excuses to sit and sulk. Now in the Spring, I'm looking at the financial results…and it's scary. To continue to sulk is just bad bad bad.

Tonight I will (likely) have the opportunity to end some of my Highly Repetitive Bullshit by formally dismissing My Agitation from my private life. (He's here on Tuesdays.) I'm hopeful that I can verbalize, without any theatrics, just how demeaning our interactions actually were. I take responsibility for allowing; I just need him to hear about the collateral damage he causes with that approach. 'Most of it to himself I suspect…but that's NOT my problem.

I guess my best option with GP is prayer. I would really like to do what's right in a Big-Picture-Karma-Correction kinda way. He knows what it means to be "broken" and probably, especially in the long term, my best bet for a Friend to Mend With.

Out of respect for my Dad, I'm not gonna go into details about his health. I still don't know who reads this shit. If by any chance you're a Reader who's ever fucked me over, especially in regard to him: shame on you. That just makes YOU the Asshole.