Saturday, March 09, 2013

New Morning

Last night, at about 7:15, I watched as my godfather took his last breath. I was holding him, as was his niece, while family gathered around. It was beautiful and painful and unforgettable. The comparison to birth is no cliche.

Sam St. Clair, and his wife Sarah, while they were never formally recognized as my godparents, they most certainly filled that role in my childhood. When my mother died in 1970, it would be the St. Clair family that kept us in church (and taught us to sing hymns loudly) and kept us busy and socially engaged especially during the Holidays....I have very few childhood memories that they aren't a part of. In an era of Chaos, Sam and Sarah were my Rock. I came to Lockhart in 2009 in no small part because they were living here; they recently moved to Oak Hill to be close to their sons.

Anyone reading my entries since Camp Meeting are likely aware of a shift in my spiritual focus. I spend exponentially more time with my family now. I think last night was my reward.

I also was reminded this week that there are so many elements of my beliefs that I learned before I was aware of "learning". My inclinations aren't necessarily "natural" but instilled at an age when I did not question. I stumbled upon a blog entry that confirmed my theory:

http://seedbed.com/feed/dying-well-according-to-john-wesley/

I am where I am supposed to be, when I'm supposed to be here. The people and activities that I felt inclined to set aside or remove from my life were, in hindsight, wise decisions. Those who I've chosen to keep close have turned out to be even better choices; I feel that I've also righted some very old wrongs and the timing was perfect for those things as well. "'To everything there is a Season..."

The only other thought I feel compelled to share is this: if you are someone who knows you have caused me harm, now would be a great time to make amends. 'Just sayin.

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