Last Post of 2012...maybe

Good Morning!

I love the days between Christmas and New Year's. The world is all wick-whacky with most people off for vacation. It's okay to be kind of a Fuck Up because, after all, the holidays are "exhausting". All of that shopping, baking, cleaning, decorating, wrapping...I find it all more than a little ridiculous but get swept away with it all anyway. (My version: online shopping, local shopping including the bakery, chased down the "fur tumbleweeds", repurposed my "Tour of Trees" project tree, and this year, I actually got things wrapped in paper. Last year everything was in a bag w tissue. I'm improving!)

My book for my Dad was a mixed success; he suggested inserts for the pages with unreadable text. I love that he loves these books. Since this entry will likely begin next year's book, I'm starting off with the intention of creating a project that reflects a new...maturity? "Process Book II" ended with the closure I've needed for 35 years (wow!) and I really ought to convey how this New Era feels and what it looks like.

And I like the artwork from "Blog Art 2011" better than this year's book. So again, I'm looking for a shift.

2012 was full of...shedding. I let go of a number of neurotic relationships, personally and professionally. I did have a twinge of feeling left out this Christmas but, for the most part, it was a very healthy inclination that I am happy to have followed. This town has figured out that I walk alone.

Haha! Already laughing at myself because the one thing I didn't shed was weight! At this moment, I'm actually enjoying my curves (except in my posture!). There may come a time when I don't...or not. I've never been in a "place" where I'm physically confident. I like 48. I always figured I'd grow into being interesting rather than beautiful.

Maybe that's because 2012 had so many lessons provided by those who rely on their "exterior" and hide their true "interior". Not gonna lie, I got some satisfaction watching the dynamics play out without my participation. My UMC conscience hopes that Lessons were learned. (If you're reading this and you think I'm "talking" to you...well, darlings...it's time you realized it's YOU talking to yourself. The most my writing can do is provide a reflection of the reader. I will no longer "break the 4th wall" to indulge you.)

I am optimistic that I will create one last image before the New Year.

Cyber-Self and Cyber-Universe, I think it's time to put you away as a writing device. As Kurt Cobain wrote, "All in All is All we All are."

XO