Life

I recently received the following email:

Hey Denise, hope all is well. I miss you. I was curious if you could write or call my father and let him know he is being extremely irresponsible by not getting a biopsy that he so disparately needs. He said he would rather just die. I am really upset and could use all the help I can get!"

I've known the sender since she was 2 years old. Her father and I worked together at the Painted Bride Art Center for a number of years. I babysat LM numerous times. PBAC staff were all artists and all family. It really was a wonderful place and a wonderful time.

But was it really my place to interfere? We haven't seen each other since I left Philly 2 years ago. Even then, it was only on Christmas Eve for a few years before that. (Our family always had an Open House.)

After a few days, here's my response:

Good Morning, L. I think of you, M. and LM every Christmas Eve...there really was a Golden Time for the Clark family. I'm so grateful that you were a part of that. But I am feeling very lucky to be home in Texas and close to my father. He was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's; it seems to be progressing steadily. I can't help but think that I got here in the nick of time.

I tell you that because, of course, LM contacted me. I waited a few days to really mull it over; I can't say that I wouldn't behave the same way on both sides! I won't know what it's like for either of you until I get there myself. And remember that Twenty-somethings have absolutely no clue about our choices because they just aren't fully emotionally and intellectually WIRED yet. They are not done growing. It takes a few Big Events before they become true adults with perspective.

With that said, LM's appeal broke my heart. As a child of such dynamic, creative parents, a lot of her identity is based upon her life with you! You give up and it feels like you're giving up on her...even if she doesn't know that consciously. 'Gotta respect that. I'd definitely do the same with my Dad and I have before. Love drives us to it. L-O-V-E! We want to hold onto our fathers because we are now old enough to truly love them.

So here is my advice: If the VA is footing the bill, at least know for certain what you're dealing with.

I think we should all be grateful that LM has grown into such a wonderful, warm, loving person. By including me in a situation that I really have no business butting into, she took me to such a loving place. I had the same feeling when I contacted Lenny after his brother's murder. There is an undeniable lifelong bond between us all. 'Guess it's that funky Painted Bride JuJu.

Peace to you, L. You all are in my prayers. XO-D

Cyber-Universe: The Big Picture deserves the same attention as a Expressionist painting; the discovery is in seeing the painting far away and then walking closer to see how the details aren't really details at all.

Cyber-Self: Aren't you glad you decided to back up far enough to see the details again!?!

Love is Good.