Lots of Napping and a Little Lovin' Goes a Long Way

Since I've taken this new job, for which I awaken at 4:45am 4 days a week, I'm not absolutely certain which way is "up"… and maybe that's ok. I'm just stunned that I'm once again making Big Life Changes; transitions are accelerating. I'm trying to remember the Camp Meeting preachings on "Surrender" and I'm gonna do my best to just float along a little. I hope to settle in just a wee bit…and then there's my fucking colonoscopy coming up. Fuck. I'm gonna hate that.

And what to do about meeting Mr. Right? 'Seriously don't know what to make of this man…why did he fall out of the sky at me? Or me to him? Very strange to feel this comfortable with someone. Surrendering to love after the scathingly painful series of personal, romantic events of the last year just seems foolhardy. We're both Fools I suspect.

There will have to be a conversation soon; a full disclosure of other parts of my heart and my life. We'll get there when we get there.

It took me three days to get to the image above. I have no clue what the image is really about…yet.

Never a Dull Moment

Hmmm…I haven't really had a chance to write, much less have time for making images. 'Going along with the Great Whatever makes for some True Adventures. I did get the job and it's…interesting. 'Didn't see myself doing this kind of personal care for someone at this point in my life but since when do I really have a say?

My "Wednesday date" has become a real game-changer and he's made my previous post feel like it was written a year ago.  I don't have a clue as to where we're headed; pretty exhausted in the best possible ways.  I joked with my cousin that it "takes a village" to keep me happy and I think it's true. I need Way-to-Go-Joe to keep me grounded. GP, I need to remind me to keep my head on straight. (Ouch, I guess I'm calling him a Cautionary Tale; a reminder of what can happen if I don't take care of myself.) And this new fellow? He's a damned Good Sport. And he's so delightfully easy to be with…

With all of these changes, I'm probably shedding even more weight. I don't even know how to BE in this body now. I'm very lucky to have a met a truly Good Sport who is willing to help me adjust.

Up and Away...

Sat down to work on this last night and got side-tracked; I wasn't really "feeling" the Muse anyway. I just couldn't get motivated with this image so I kinda stuck it together and smacked it on here lol.

I've been back from Camp Meeting for a week now and I'm still processing some stuff from that. Mostly though, I've been feeling "recalibrated" and some very interesting events have kinda flowed forth…
1) At literally my darkest moment financially, I finally decided to look into part-time caretaker positions on Craiglist. The first one I read is the position I interviewed for yesterday. My potential employer is a professional woman who happens to be in a wheelchair. She only wants help three times a day and uses 3 people to fill the time slots i.e. most times, it's once-a-day for 2-3 hours, potentially 7 days a week. This could double my income and I don't have to sell french fries.
2) I went on my 2nd "real" date from the singles site. About 5 minutes into conversation, my date started asking questions based on my Profile. "So…you say your cousin is a musician. What's his name?"
Me: "Doug Moreland." My date freezes.
Date: "My son-in-law is playing with him this very moment. He's their sub on the bass tonight in Alpine…"
and a new friendship is born. He's a little too up in age for me but I think we'll have fun exploring music venues. Quite nice to be in the company of a True Gentleman.
3) I have a date on Wednesday night…a new one from the site. I have a hunch we'll enjoy hanging out at the Moontower.

So where does this all put me in relation to the two men I spend most of my mental/emotional/spiritual energy on? Right where they should be, just as they are. The quasi-dating is all about getting out there and being part of the world. I feel like my heart is "occupied" enough that I'm not risking infatuation or even wanting any kind of intimacy. Is it better to date when you're "in love" with someone else? Who the Hell knows…

I'm willing to bet there are folks on my periphery who might be feeling neglected about now. Well, that is very likely a Choice and not a Reality. If you haven't seen me, call me. And be forewarned: I've been eliminating "snark" from my Emotional Diet. Rather than engage, my newest tactic is to politely leave… If for some reason that is a "shoe" that fits, might I suggest some gentle walking around? Mull it all over.

I'm risking total procrastination if I continue writing; as always I have reports due. I feel so…wonderful…at the prospect of eliminating my only remaining source of True Stress: $$$