Forced "Art-ing"

Pfffft…I'm in a bit of a procrastination rut. 'Not sure why so I decided to back away from social media for the rest of my day (probably wise) and take at least 30 minutes to put something here. So here. Here it is.

I could easily just leave the post as it is with one 5 minute piece of "art-ing" and 5 sentences. Naw. My last entry title sucked for the same reason; just not giving it my usual effort. Am I too happy to write? Maybe. Too many emotional needs being met? Too comfortable? Maybe and maybe. I'm simply too content sometimes to just sit on my ass and think…

I have a lot to be grateful for right now and this "rut" feels like an attack from my Inner Brat. "Things are too good…you're gonna fuck it all up. Or you'll get fucked…by something…sometime." It's a voice I hate to hear because it means there's still that urge for self-sabotage. Tsk tsk. I'm not qualified to decipher it all but I know it's silly to even indulge the Brat's ideas.

I've officially had 3 bouts of Being Neurotic with my Good Sport and it's frustrating. I really do know better but…that Inner Brat likes to make Little Things into Big Things and redirect focus onto Her. Sadly, while I was able to divorce my primary source of Neurotic Angst, I haven't dropped all of my Reactive Behavior. I'm working on it. And I hope my Guy understands and continues to be patient. (Alright, the man's already a damn SAINT as far as that goes!) I'm still learning how to give people their "space"and still be present; I tend to be "on" or "off"… doesn't work that way with Love. Love is being present and open…not waiting to interject or interact or improve or fix. Just being there is what's really important. So the Inner Brat's gonna have to shut the fuck up. Period.

I've got things to take care of. I have my Life to take care of.