First Monday with Dad

I can't believe it's taken 4 days to post this image. I'm pretty good about ending my sessions by putting up the final jpeg right away. Maybe in this case it's because I know this one might have a bit of an emotional charge. I don't personally feel very connected to the snapshot but it really is one of those moments...my mother would be dead within 5 years and none of us would ever be the same. But what is "the same"? All kinds of possibilites lay ahead when the photo was taken. And everyone looks very happy, handsome, healthy, and unafraid of the Future.

I started my new Life/Work Schedule. 'Proper nouns because it really takes some maneuvering to have enough time for family and still make enough money to keep things moving. I gave up a lucrative shift at the McJob in order to spend Mondays with Dad (IF no private clients have booked.) I put to the other McTherapists that I can be scheduled online to sub for them and so far one lady has booked. AND I've been inundated with local appointments yesterday and today. My Boo says it's Good JuJu.

Our first Monday together was absolutely wonderful. Dad was working on a publication so there were long periods of time when it was best for me to occupy myself. I took a walk around the property which was surprisingly inspirational. I do love our land (which used to cover most of Manchaca if one considers the original owners in our family tree.)

And when Dad took breaks, we did fun stuff. We watched Leonard Cohen videos (which I liked!), I installed his pen and tablet, and did a little Photoshop demo. We ate breakfast and lunch at the table. Very cool. Very relaxed. My evening South Austin client had to be rescheduled so I had absolutely no agenda...I NEEDED that! 'Guess Dad did too cuz he seemed pretty happy.

So off I run. I'm already behind, I haven't eaten. Oi.

Groove or Rut...That is the Question!

Hmmm... I think using the old photos risks becoming too rote. At least it's likable and not too awfully abstract. I suspect Dad's happy that I'm plugging along.

In the past two weeks, my father has given me 3 Leonard Cohen compilation CDs to listen to. It started with just the one. When he asked if I'd listened to it and did I have a favorite, my answer was "Hallelujah". There's a WHOLE BOOK dedicated to the interpretations of that particular song. So he gave me 2 more...

With no disrespect for Leonard Cohen's talent, my brain hurts when I listen to him. My father played nothing but his music for several years after my mother died and it just...drives me a litte nuts. Dad said he'd make me liner notes. I need at least a playlist so I can take constructively.

The irony is that my "Process" has moved me back to my Childhood Self. The more time I spend at Dad's and at Aunt Lil's, the more I become that Happy Kid. Maybe that's why I was able to give J.B. the Criminal such a sound Bitch Slap. I'm finally in the position of defending my Inner Child.

Well played.

Sticking with a Theme

"18"

Happy New Book!

'Took me more than a week to post anything along the lines of "Happy New Year"; things are off to a bangin' start. I am very determined to create a Blog Art book that knocks the socks off my first attempts. Yee Haw!

New Year's Eve in Trusty the Truck

I can't even begin to express how much I needed to p-a-r-t-y. 'How much I needed to just let it all GO. So when I was invited to ring in the New Year in San Marcos at a party where 96% of the people were absolute strangers, I just had to go. I packed sleeping gear in Trusty so I could crash out and the Adventure was everything I needed and more. Yes! 'Love those Sweet Ladies.

And I slept GREAT all cozied into my pillows, pad, and sleeping bag. New Year's dawn I poked my head up, climbed into the driver's seat and prayed that I would make it home in time to go to the bathroom. Haha! I just couldn't disturb the kiddos.

Dissolution

I will no longer attend church here in Lockhart. The congregation I just left should separate from the UMC and do what they want. I'm so very offended by their behavior; by the depth of their dishonesty.  A few "key" members treated our new pastor as if he were the Devil himself when in all Truth, he was the first true UMC preacher I've heard in a very long time. Turns out that it's because he was insistent upon keeping with the UMC doctrine (and found $$$ issues) that he was ousted. The smokescreen of gossip consisted of whispers about his "temper" and that he was a "bully". Wicked-mean-elderly people freak me the fuck out. It is my intention to never return to that building. I would feel vindicated if the sign changed and the words "United Methodist" were removed.

I am considering the UMC in Manchaca...(the congregation that ousted my father over 40 years ago; long story.) I would attend with my Aunt Lil. 'Gonna try to meet with the 2 pastors (both are female) to get a sense of what kind of church I'd be attending. If that doesn't jive I might have to go all the way into town to St. Luke's. That would be weird...but interesting.

Adhesion

('Couldn't think of a better word!) I conveyed my feelings regarding my worship situation to a very diverse, very private group of local friends and I received so much...love! I never solicit support so when it's spontaneously given, it overwhelms me a little. I'm certain that we were drawn together because a few of us have been challenged to the Edges of our Faith recently. 'Especially in regard to this town...pfft. It's hard to keep a Happy Face here sometimes but I'm going to keep trying.

Resolution

Professionally, I'm hoping to shift my efforts more to my private practice. I've asked my McJob if I could work just on Sundays and sub as needed. 'Haven't heard a word...my McManager sucks.

Before the Holidays, I purged my wardrobe. Now ALL of my clothes are in one closet...along with a lot of my massage gear. I LOVE the simplicity. It occurred to me the other day I spend all of my time in the "office" (my room). I use the iPad for TV, work on the computer, putter around without ever venturing to other corners of the house. It also occurred to me that I am so very much like my father!

And no, I don't have any weight loss intentions at the moment. 'Kinda enjoying being a Big Girl. Certainly reduces the likelihood of anyone paying any attention to me...at least men...there are probably women in this town who talk about last year's gain. Oh well.

Confusion

Terrible domestic circumstances with one my disabled clients; mom shot dad in the ass...apparently. I have to wait for questions to be asked though all of the agencies before I can visit. I have no idea what the result will be. Love that kid but I know by now to expect that my heart will ALWAYS be broken by these kids eventually. Every relationship will have an endpoint. I'm very relieved that the boundaries have been pretty solid. I pray for my client's well-being.

Conclusion

Since I've decided to drop my tired writing devices, I'm at a loss at how to end an entry. (oh snap! just stop writing)