What I Learned This Summer

Hello, Cyber-Self and Cyber-Universe. I've missed you both.

Living Alone

It doesn't take a genius to know that if I had my preference, I would live alone. I love my family but I desperately wish sometimes that they were my neighbors instead of housemates. (No need to bore myself or you with the litany of reasons...) And someone once pointed out to me that if you find yourself living the life you wished for, remember to ask yourself, "How am I using my wish?"

For most of this past summer, I was home alone in Philly. Well... not exactly. I spent a lot of my time hanging out at Nick's, the only bar I now frequent. (It's the only place that's easy to step out of for a smoke AND I adore many of the good folks there.) I had no reason to cook, so why not eat there? I had no one to talk to at home, so why not chat over several pints?

It's now October, the family has been home from the Shore and I'm still answering questions from that wished-for time. Obviously, considering recent posts, it wasn't a completely pleasant summer. Some relationships strained while others evolved.

Re-Learning the Difference Between Friends and Acquaintances
I think, if I asked, I would get a consensus; some people should have stayed acquaintances. These were people I was on good terms with since we met; bringing them in closer served no one. Especially if we also happened to drink too much together. I feel very very fortunate to not be an "etch-a-sketch" drinker as a friend calls them; they black out and have to "etch-a-sketch" their memories the morning after. There are few in my realm and I've had to keep them at arms length since this summer. Geez... hearing their "etch-a-sketch" nonsense had my head spinning and, more often than not, my feelings bruised. And for what? Really, I am so over some people right now and I sure they're just as done with me.

So why still go there? Because I have some really great friends there as well. It's just become a matter of choosing the right place to sit and the right time to be there. It also helps to be invited.With an invitation, there's the tacit understanding that bothering me will not be allowed. Say what you will Acquaintances, I'm sitting with Friends. (Sounds like high school... guess not all of us grow out of it. Guilty as charged but not alone amongst the flawed!)

Stuff I Should Have Done Instead
I ought to have been making more art. I ought to have gone swimming. I ought to have been creating spreadsheets for my business. I ought to have been at more free concerts and events. But I didn't. Coulda woulda oughta shoulda. Such is Life. Some lessons have to be re-taught before we wake up and start asking the right questions. I'm getting there at least.

BTW, this was the original image; it looks too sad but it was the only one I finished today (yesterday+. I have a more comtempletive one in "process." (i.e. the one that's there now) Maybe I will edit the post or maybe just add it. 'Thought it was more important to write than draw... now that is a much better quandry! (Almost healthy...)

Namaste All! I'll try to be a Better Friend, Cyber-Self and Cyber-Universe. Keep on keepin' on.