My So-Called Medicated Life (revised)

Way back in September I wrote down my medication "recipe". It has slightly changed since then:

300mg of Wellbutrin
40mg of Celexa
3mg Klonopin

What difference does 1mg of Klonopin a day make? Enough. Enough for what? Enough to keep my impulsivity in check... sort of.

A friend recently attributed my progress to the fact that I take medication (I have Panic Disorder). I didn't let him get away with it because it simply ain't so. Medication keeps the symptoms at bay but it's still up to me to be healthy. There were times in the past, especially when my son was in Iraq, that medication didn't make that big of difference emotionally. It didn't keep me from being angry at everything and everyone.

Would I be "sick" without them? Probably but I'm not even considering that option. Freedom from symptoms means I can be a part of the Moment instead of wondering if I am about to faint! It also means that I can take my time; my mind isn't racing a thousand miles a minute. Oh, it still races sometimes, but now I have the power to at least slow things down, re-group, and move ahead.

That desire to move ahead is what has changed me. It's about shedding old ways, leaving negative crap behind and searching for the best possible outcome to each situation. You can't buy that in a bottle.


Peace, Denise