Validation

Long time no see, Cyber-Self! Hola, Cyber-Universe!

I have to thank my sister for my title and for the concept of this blog. (Thanks, Sister-Dister!) I think I was reluctant to write for so many little reasons, that I needed One Idea to kinda "plunger out" the crap. In the time since I last wrote, I could have written a number of quick, sarcastic entries or I could have written a few superficial listings of my latest achievements and failures. I'm glad I didn't waste our time. None of my failures resulted in any legitimate suffering and none of my achievements have made me a millionare or win a Nobel Prize.

For whatever reason, the word, Validation, suddenly made me look at everything with a different filter. It came up when I was on the phone with my sister; I was "Boo Hoo This" and "Boo Hoo That" and she told me what I needed was Validation. And she's right. I'm all for being "present in the moment" but I just wasn't bringing my Best Self along with me. I needed to take a more honest look at myself and then, give myself a break already!

FIRST, THE BAD NEWS....
It doesn't take a lot of soul-searching to figure out that the condition of my house has me the most unsettled. It's very hard for me to not take my broods pigginess personally. On a bad day, it is like the Ultimate Metaphor: I see it as a swooping act of Passive-Aggressiveness on my family's part. One a good day... well, I'm usually out working! Not only is this house too small (we didn't have rowhouses in Manchaca, Texas so this has always bugged me) but there is a frighteningly long list of repairs that should have happened a decade ago. Combine that with the fact that I went on Cleaning Strike about four years ago (now that's a whole 'nother blog) and what we have is this:

Nuff said.

EVERYTHING ELSE...
One of the challenges of being a Sole Proprietor is Isolation. (I made it a proper noun because I consider it a disease.) My worst phase has always been from early February until mid-March; business almost comes to a halt and I'm left with too much time to think. So, this year, I decided not to succumb and get my Boo-Hoo Butt out of the office chair.

One choice I made was to volunteer for the Painted Bride Art Center. The Bride was my first "real" job in Philly when I moved here more than 20 years ago. (20 YEARS! Oops, was that out loud?) I quit when I was pregnant with my daughter, Cecilia. Well, once a Bride employee, always a Bride... something. I committed to working on their fundraiser, Artists Of the City.

I went from just attending meetings to practically living at the Bride. It was such a natural, organic progression. Every time someone likes my ideas or is happy with my work, it just makes me so happy! Positive Validation! I just get so excited and then the Bride folks get a little more excited and then I get more Postive Validation and... if you know me, it is a natural! I was that way as a kid and I feel very lucky to feel that as an adult. How often do we get to say "Yippee!"?

Super Positive Validation Bonus: my daughter decided to volunteer too because she can get credit for school. (Philly high schoolers have to complete community service hours to graduate... I'm sure she is way ahead at this point! Plus, she's AWESOME! She sooooo has "the skills to pay the bills". ) We are there 2 afternoons a week, sometimes more. How often do we get to spend quality time with our teenage children? I cherish every moment; it is our Validation of our Connectedness. And my Past and her Future have a place to "hang out" until something finally happens at home!

BNI

About 7 weeks ago, I was invited to Business Networking International Chapter meeting. (If you followed the link, then you probably had the same reaction as I did when I first looked: seems a little "cheesy"... not sure if it's "me") I joined immediately following the meeting. Why? Because I knew it would force me to push myself into Positive Professional Validation. One element of a meeting is that each member stands up and gives a 30-second "commercial" about their business and what their ideal referral would be; every member, every time. Standing up with a succinct positive message about myself has become progressively rote. The more I do it, the better I get. (I think I used to call that Confidence... just kidding... sort of)

The basic concept for BNI is very simple: only one person from any profession are in a chapter (i.e. I am the only Massage Therapist in a room with a commercial realtor, a family lawyer, a printer... there about 20 people in my chapter) and our goal is to provide each other with pre-qualified referrals. We meet over lunch once a week and the format includes the 30-second presentations, longer presentations from a couple of members, and a referral/testimonial round when you get to give and get your referrals or say something positive about a member or the group. By learning so much about each member, the process becomes second nature. You come across someone in your life that needs a service and voila! you have a name for them and you can trust that this someone will be treated well.

EVERYBODY ELSE...

I consider myself to be fully "vaccinated" against Professional Isolation; I'm still working on the Inner Personal Validation. Maybe my next entry should be called, "The Difficult Souls in My Life and Why I Love Them Anyway." Not ready to go there yet but I am looking through my Validation Glasses and I'm at least figuring out some of the whys. I'm even (re)discovering just who those Difficult Souls are! (some have been added to the list; others removed... interesting, hmmm?)

I'll try to make it a good read in whatever form my future entry takes.

Namaste, Cyber-Self! Namaste, Cyber-Universe!